Hi, Mr. Andy Wong
Hi, Bill Nixon
Reporter of Asia Media Weekly
I've already ran a background check on you
We'd like to do an interview and shoot some photos
Sure, no problem
People call you Hong Kong's King of Porn
They say you created a whole new style of pornography
What's your take on that?
They're being nice, but it's true...
...our magazine has the highest circulation indeed
This way Sure
Are you embarrassed by having photo's taken
with this many naked women?
Not at all
In the last few years, I've had more than 10,000
women strip in front of my face
according to information
You and your partner John are both graduated from a university
Why would university graduates turn to porn publishing?
Can you tell us more about your background?
How did you meet John?
I was a scriptwriter in a television station
But my career was going nowhere
Then a publishing company hired me
That was how it all started
I met John at the editorial department
We hit it off instantly
and became instant friends
What's up?
Angus, how many are they firing this week?
I heard over a dozen got the pink slip downstairs
That's sad
I don't think it'll affect us
We are pillars in this organization
Right, we're pillars
This is so painful to watch
For you
John, I wish they had fired me instead
You know I don't really need the income
I'm not in it for the money
This one's yours
Please clean up and leave by 5pm
Or we'll call security
Come on, was that attitude necessary
What's the big plan?
Get another job, I guess
Maybe we should start something
Like what?
We're in publishing, let's start a magazine
What kind of magazine?
They fired a lot of us today
That's fine, my boss said I'm up for a raise
I'll provide for you
That makes me feel so useless
Of course not, I think you're talented
You just need the right opportunity
This could be the chance
I discussed with a bunch of old colleagues
We have an idea for a Shoppers' guide for youngsters
I haven't promised anything
How much money will you need?
Less than a hundred grand each
It's not a problem for me, because I don't have any
I do
You do?
All right!
What do you think?
Top notch!
This couch is fantastic
It's virtually perfection
For some reasons, the partners all landed jobs quickly
John joined a newspaper's adult entertainment page
Can you just wait a minute
I've submitted your pieces to my boss
He should be out quickly
You like your drink?
Boss OK
John, these two articles are crap
Totally unreadable
It's a simplified menu for hookers
Just names of women and their rates
We need more descriptions
You his boss?
Who are you?
This is Mr. Lam, the massage parlor expert
And that is George
He is a pimp
If we can write well, we won't need to drive hookers around
Idiot!
What the fuck you want? Do you need our tips or what?
I told you we're only providing tips
Fine...
I don't care
Spend a few hundred dollars
Get someone to rewrite these
I need them to be entertaining
As if
These two are legends in the industry
Yes OK?
4-Eyes became a TV reporter
Mike worked in real estate
Ben joined an accounting firm
I didn't find any work
Let's think of a name for the pimp
He's real name is Dragon
Lung's to generic, need to spice it up
What are his physical attributes?
He's quite stocky
Fat Dragon then, simple enough
Easy to recall, Fat Dragon it is
As for the Massage Parlor guy
His name is Jones, he's quite skinny in person
Skinny Jones?
How about Boney Jones
Boney Jones it is!
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones, sounds good
Who's going to be which?
Who'll be Fat Dragon and who'll play Boney Jones?
Let's do this together
We'll switch daily
I'll take Boney today and you can be Dragon
Then we switch tomorrow
Sure...
The Guide's called Look Guide?
Sounds like "drop dead" in Cantonese!
The name was your idea!
I thought you know how to change luck with names
How could we call our guide "drop dead"
It was all because you called
And said there wasn't anytime left
You could have used "Luck"
Or "Lucky"
Should I have used the name "Luke" instead
Why not?
But how could you have chosen the word "Look"
Grammatically doesn't make any sense!
Good news!
I looked over, but our guide...
Uh-oh, look guide (drop dead) indeed
Lots of reader letters?
A pile for Fat Dragon, and another for Boney Jones
It's only been one day
This is awesome
I asked the distributor
He says only two kinds of books make money now
This is one
And this is the other
Let's have your opinions
4-eyes
Personally, I'm a Christian
I have a strict stand in these things
I think text books can help students
I agree with 4-eyes
We can study the school curriculum
Make friends with school teachers
I'm sure we can sell these books easily
I just want to know our investment
How many books do we sell to make our money back
Pubic hair!
You saw a lot?
How about you, John?
I...
I think text book is a good idea
I bought lots of them when I was in school...
Fuck every hole she has
Use your hands when necessary
...for exercise
Text book, that's a good idea
It's a brilliant idea
I agree a hundred percent
Let's put this to a vote
Those in favor of text books?
Those in favor of porn magazines?
Good morning
We're looking for Mr. Dai
Whom shall I say is looking?
You can tell him it's John
Wait a minute
Thanks
I want another headline
A bunch of useless hacks!
How are you two youngsters?
Sit...
Go on!
Coffee?
Two cups of coffee, Darlene!
You're too kind
Scrap that then
How are you guys?
Our industry really needs people like you two
Full of creative talents
We've met before...
John
Of course, John, we've met
Twice, right?
We publish anything
Diet Magazines
Theology books
Aeronautical Science
Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine
I wrote this myself, Japanese for Beginners
I'm Nakamura Naoko
What's your big idea?
Haven't you guys prepared anything
We haven't
We just want to print a porn magazine
We don't print porn here
How dirty can you go?
I am Fat Dragon
and I'm Boney Jones
Or sometimes I am Fat Dragon
And I am Boney Jones
You should've said something earlier
Darlene, bring in the red wine!
Sit down please
Japan had had Guidebook to Hookers for quite some
Were you the first to do something like that in Hong Kong
Yes, purely by coincidence
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones were such a hit
I knew then that this would become the trend for porn magazines
Even though nobody else believed in us
It was more difficult than
we imagined it to be
The other partners weren't helping
John and I did everything by ourselves
Ben, there are two guys looking for you
Hi, Mr. Ben
We're from Wild Side Magazine
He's John, I'm Andy
We'd like to request for an in depth interview
to promote your club
Or you can post an advertisement with us
No need for any advertising here
We've got lots of reliable customers already
But... although this place is a hit...
This place could be an even bigger hit
We can write recommendations for the girls here...
I told you it's not necessary
Come over here, mister
What environment?
It's fucking quiet these days
No one can get a fucking customer, damn it
Guys, looking for a good massage?
What's up, bro?
Chippy told us to come here
Said we should look for the Ma Brothers
Right...
Chippy recommended?
I'm Big Ma, he's Little Ma
How are you?
Sit please
Thanks
What's on your mind?
We'd like to launch a magazine
lt'll be a one of its kind guide to the sex trade
An extraordinary guide
We'd like to interview you both and the girls who work for you
Do some marketing for you
This is fucking funny
What kind of an idea is that?
Prostitution marketing?
What are your names?
I'm John, this is Andy
John fucking Andy
No, I'm Andy
Kidding...
Have you guys ever tried hookers before?
What?
I haven't
Neither have I...
You haven't even tried it yourselves yet you want to market our trade?
This is fucking hilarious
Anyway, I've got the time, so I'll have fun with you guys
Get the girls out here
Hold on
Girls, get the hell out here!
Customers?
Hurry!
Come on, hurry
I'll show you what real prostitutes are
These girls are all prostitutes
Whores for short
Choose one
Shit, stop pretending
Do you know what's rule number one?
Hookers hate shy guys, they won't give you head
OK, I'll pick for you
Gosh, you're too much...
Ling, take off your tops
Watch out for a nose bleed
Now that's what I call headlights
Good stuff
Fuck, stop pretending
Coco, take it off
Chandeliers Guaranteed nose bleed!
Good stuff, eh?
Come over here
I bet you're just pretending
Make some room
Didn't you say you want to market this stuff
You can feel it up close now
Judge for yourselves if they're real
Feel it
Come on
This is what I call a real pro
Great
Sorry
You touched it, you pay for it
What?
Why do you think they call it the flesh trade
You said you wanted to publish a magazine
I just taught you an important lesson
Pay up
You guys keep this in mind
If you want to publish a Guide to Whores
You have to understand two sorts of people
The hooker's and the customer's
Understand?
Understood, Big Ma
Thanks for the lesson
Take care of it
I hear you're the expert in getting women to undress
Only women I know
What do you guys want, tell her
Come on
Dance, then undress...
Do a little dance, then squeeze your tits
Touch your tits, then squeeze your nipples
Take off cushion
No...
I have a shaver, need to shave armpit hair?
OK?
Just relax
Yeah!
Come on...
Quick... strip...
Quick... Up...
Shoe... No Shoe...
Up... Quick...
Chair... Yeah...
Perfect...
Stop!
Don't go all the way, that's perfect
Really, then I'm not taking it off
What the hell are you doing?
You got us all excited
what are going to do now?
You're a man too, you know what porn magazines need
Seriously, when we set out to publish this
it was a monumental decision
to put it bluntly
Nothing can stop us now
Don't be in the way, brother!
I know what you mean
I'm ok to make some adjustments with my art
I'm also a horny guy myself
But figure out a way to convince her first
Artistic maestro
have you ever been beaten up during a photo shoot?
That's it, perfect!
Now I know pornography equals art
and art equals pornography
Good porn means good art
there it is... I can see clearly now
This is good porn
Perfection! Good porn! Good art!
Check this out
Tom's dick so long it bends
Nicole's oral techniques are heaven sent
They start fighting but have sex in the end
Finish this pizza and lick it again
lmagine her mouth must be really oily
Finish this pizza... and just fuck it again?
Fuck it again
Fuck again it is! Fuck it again
We're all here, you're the only one missing
Hurry up
Is that the one?
Can't be
Don't panic, this isn't it
I think it is
Go after it!
You're all here?
Why didn't you guys get a cab?
Shut up, let's order first
Let's get Pork Bone Congee
Congee under this weather?
They're famous for it
Fine, 4 bowls of pork bone congee
This is the area's leading magazine stall
Should give a good indication of our magazine's sales
It's extremely indicative
Is this a new magazine?
Just arrived, hot off the Press
Can I open it up?
Sure, go ahead
Look, a customer
It's really good
Buy it! Buy it!
Pretty hot indeed!
Buy it...
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones are in it?
I'll take this
Bought!
If Passion Magazine makes money
I shall donate half of my earnings to charity
I'll give it all to my mom, she still thinks I'm useless
I'll invest in printing educational textbooks
Do some charity work to balance off my guilt
I'll buy a bigger flat for Fanny
So we can live comfortably
Pamela dreamt of owning her own fashion label
If I have the money
I'll use it to develop her label
Are we day dreaming or what?
I guess so
Sold out
Sold out?
$5 for newspaper
$5
I'm paying for this
Sorry, bro, this isn't for sale, it's my copy
Not for sale?
Sir, you're pretty old already
I would hate for you to pop a vein reading this
Old men are still men
Frankly speaking
this is the first issue, I want to keep a copy
It's an instant best seller
A mint condition first copy will go up in value
They can always re-print That's right
You don't get it
When they do, it'll say re-print on the cover
You're right
Careful, don't ruin it
Congratulations, mister
I won't fight over this with you, it's all yours
Keep it well, thanks
That's right
This issue will be worth a lot of money in the future
Trust me Yeah?
Even the plastic cover!
Let's go have some shark's fin soup
According to my research, the first issue of Passion Magazine
sold over a hundred thousand copies
Wow!
It broke the record of the sales of pornographic magazines
Because John and I used our heads
Previous porno magazines didn't involve the night club scene
But we've set a different trend
We could make a nightspot an instant hit
Your turn, sir
C'mon boy, your turn
Sorry, you all have to wait for a while
Not for long, I promise...
It's a busy day out here
Just hurry up
It's fucking John and Andy
We'll drink to that
Cheers Cheers
You guys sure have your ways
Now every girl in this joint
accounts for maybe 30 customers daily
Can't cope with the demand
Thank you both
If I didn't have the foresight to see the potential
in you two
We're not going to hit the jackpot like we have now
Our joint is literally filled with horny sperms
Business is literally fucking good
Thank you for your compliment
Your precious teachings worked out well for us
Nobody believed in us back then
Without our interview with you, there would be no magazines
Andy, I know you're good at this
Help me get some new ideas
I want to fire up this joint even more
Let's fucking bring the house down
You guys must know how
Come on, stop keeping the ideas to yourselves
You guys want to bring down the house?
Yeah
You wanna have fun, we'll pay for it
Passion
Boss, this way to room no. 9, watch your step
Maggie, hurry
Where are you going?
I'm exhausted Hurry up!
Take good care of our customer
Come on, what's taking so long?
Jeez, this is so hot...
This is even better
Officer Cheung
Outside a sex den in Portland Street
We have about a hundred people queuing up
Reportedly Passion Magazine is treating readers
to free sex with hookers
Should we do something about this?
You two get on the van
I invited you both
Because you've gone to far
You wanna have fun, we'll pay for it
Officer, you have nothing on us
Yes, we consulted our legal adviser...
Right, having fun does not mean prostitution
But...
the newspapers today reported about this
I got you both out to talk things out on the record
So I'll have something to show my superiors
What do you want then, Officer Cheung
I can't teach you what to say
You just need to tell the truth
You guys started a joke with your readers
Didn't think they would actually believe you guys
As to what they did up in the sex den
You'll of course confess that you don't know anything
Remember me, I'm SP Cheung
I hope you don't fall into my hands in the future
If not, I won't be just taking you out for a spin
I'll take you back to the precinct for a cup of coffee
Understood
Where are you guys, why are you not here yet?
Come on
Sorry...
We're late, sorry
The big boss is waiting
Thanks
Sorry
Mr. Tong Fook, really sorry
You said to proceed to Comewell
I thought I heard you say the supermarket next door
Waited there for 30 minutes
It's true, we haven't had dinner yet
You two idiots wrote bad things about our joint
We didn't
Seriously, Mr. Tong
We always tell the truth, nothing less
Yes
Up yours!
Of course you did!
You don't know who I am, do you?
Let me show you something interesting
This scar runs from my chest to my ass
Long time ago
Someone tried to bad mouth me
I asked them for a meeting
Every person
had two big cleavers
Cleavers!
This scar...
was a memento of that day
As to those fools
They were cut into 4 pieces
Fuck
Your joint sucked for real, we simply told the truth
What the hell do you mean?
Shit! Do you know how to run a sex den?
Don't blame others for your own ignorance
If we die today
your business will suck just the same
Tell you what, I don't know much
But I know how to make a joint succeed
That's right
Assholes!
Look, I'm in this business to make money
not to make enemies
Why don't we all sit and have dinner?
Let's all get to know each other better, yes?
OK...
Give them some wine
Since it's our first meeting
I'd like to show you something you've never seen before
My double blade technique will blow you away
Great...
Really good
Brilliant!
Beautiful...
Encore...
Continue please...
Miss, when will Mr. Dai give me my check?
My employees are waiting for their salaries
I realy don't know when he will be free
Don't leave me out in charitable endeavors
Just name the amount
Sky is the limit
Mr. Dai
Do you know what was my ambition growing up?
To run a charitable institution, seriously
Goodbye! Thank you, Mr. Dai
Walk the guest out
Mr. Dai
I know...
Shirley, get Raymond in, we have a publishing meeting
Mr. Dai, I...
Can you wait a few more minutes?
I'm really busy, got meetings to attend
If you can't wait, come back another day
I need to go into this meeting Mr. Dai...
Shirley!
Unbelievable!
God damn it
This is what we're paid for this month
Why?
Why do we have to be like beggars on the street
The magazine was a best seller
Fuck it
Why do we have to go through this?
Fuck him, we want our money
How much is his share worth?
Let's buy it off him
Don't we have enough cash?
I agree, but I don't have the money
Neither do I
I got loads, but haven't earned them yet
Not me, I'd rather have a smaller stake in this
I'll get a loan and use my flat as collateral
I should also ask my girlfriend to do the same
We should buy the magazine
You're my best buddy
John wants to buy Passion back from Mr. Dai
He asked Fanny to use the house as collateral
Yeah
That's risky
I tried to talk him out of it
How much was Dai's share in it?
He wouldn't release his rights for less than HK$1.5 Million
This flat was intended to be my dowry
What do you mean?
I'm betting my future on you, get it?
Do you get it?
Understood
Finally, we own this thing
Congratulations
Congrats
We can start kicking ass now that we fully own it
This issue's theme
Camouflage girl in the jungle takes a facial
Good!
Remember shoot on the face, not on her breasts
Go ahead and do it
We'll show you the proofs later
I'm coming, please look at the camera
Two men? I don't do threesomes
We're reporters from Passion Magazine
Here to interview Titty Bird
Oh, reporters
Sorry
I'm getting the door, please come in
Come in, don't be shy
It's fine
Come on in, the place is crowded
Sit down please
7-up for you guys?
We don't get up 7 times that fast, Coke please
Sure, Coke then
No coke or 7-up's
No soft drinks, but I have popsicle
But only one left, can you share?
Have some, it tastes good
It's ok, we'll help ourselves
I'll put it here, just take it
Here are our name cards, I'm the publisher
I'm the deputy
Who's the publisher and who's the deputy?
I'm Andy, the publisher
He's John, my deputy
How do you
conduct your interviews?
Just tell us your main selling point
And we'll take some photo's
My selling point?
I've said it all in the voice recorder
Can you say the same thing again then?
OK, hang on a minute
Here and now?
Yes, tell it to us, hold on
Boss
Call me Titty Bird
I have big, bouncy tits
40 inches of the real stuff
My cleavage is deep
My nipples are small and pinkish
I even "swallow" if you like
Body massage, 360 degree turn
I'll turn so good
like you wouldn't believe it
My pussy's tight and juicy
lt'll suck you dry
And fuck you crazy
Only HK$300, really cheap
I'm waiting...
Does that work?
If it worked you wouldn't have needed us
First of all, promise us one thing
You shouldn't be dishonest
40 in. Bust line? You must be kidding
And all the service you mentioned...
Every other hooker in the business does it
Do you know what's rule no. 1 for this profession
not to tell your customers that you're cheap
If they want to save money they'll just jack off
Firstly, you need to hike up your price
I have no customers now yet I should hike up prices?
Trust us, we know these things
You will become Hong Kong's
number one hooker
I've never dreamt of becoming number one
Then put your faith in our two big... pens
Who are you looking for?
Titty Bird, as recommended in Passion Magazine?
It's out?
See for yourself
You're pretty in person
Everything in it is true
Come in, I'll show you a good time
OK
I'm looking for Titty Bird
Coming
Come on in, Mister
You don't look like the picture at all
Stop looking at the picture, come in
I'm looking for Titty Bird
Just come on in first
Well? Should we try once more?
What?
If you couldn't make it the first time, we can do it again
Have you had enough rest?
When you're done we can start over
Is that alright? Come on
I'm complaining to the Passion Magazine for fraud against readers
The article talked about Titty Bird
But what I found was Shitty Bird
Completely different things
I am very disappointed by this complete disregard...
of responsible journalism
If this is the case...
Then I refuse to support the Passion Magazine from now on
And I will spread the worst word of mouth about it
Titty Bird
Get here you lazy whore
I'm busy... don't come in
Just come back another day
Fine, I'll wait right here
Why don't you come in?
You have destroyed our reputation
Look at these complaint letters
They're all about you
Just come in first
Come in. Something wrong with your eyes?
Come in and we'll talk
Fine, I'll come in
Passion Magazine is in deep trouble now because of you
Customers?
I'm not a customer
Who are you? Ronaldo?
We're robbers, Mr. Publisher
Thanks to your magazine that pointed us here
Could you maybe sign an autograph?
What are your names?
Don't you dare tell him our real names
Whatever then, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho
Sorry, we need to finish off the robbery
Let's go, little brother
Thanks, Mr. Publisher
This way
Are they gone yet?
They're off
Untie me
How do I do that?
They tied us really tight
I'm so thirsty
What do you want to do about that?
Don't
I'm bursting already
It's painful
In a great hurry It's painful
Get something to drink
You want me to drink condoms and lubricants?
I forgot to buy some drinks
This is fucking unbelievable
Uh-oh, I have to pee
Dont do it, its pointed right at my direction
I'm not thirsty
I can't hold it any longer
Let's untie ourselves first
Help me
I have to pee
What are you biting?
Don't lick
If you had served all your clients...
the way you served me just now
Then I wouldn't have had to come
Sorry, I got too lazy
I thought I could get others to substitute
I won't do it again
It's useless to say these now
Why don't you write a formal apology
I'll publish it for you on the next issue
OK
How...
How much do I owe you?
I'll pay you for it
No need, we're friends
We haven't even reported this case
Report what?
This is my first time
I can't let others know about this
You have a point
Don't worry, I'll work hard from now on
I promise I will
I remember you said to me
that I can become number one in this trade
Lazy Whore: My Mistake!
Titty Bird Promises never to do it again
Mr. Boney Jones, I strongly recommend
this girl, number 77
She's the best
Is this number 77 really any good?
Of course... if she was any good we wouldnt need to promote her
Please do what you can to help
Turn the skank into the hottest princess
You know we don't lie, and we don't accept bribes
That's fine
What's no. 77's specialty?
Blow Jobs
She's blows so well
that if she were a musician
she'd be in Kenny G's league
Mr. Jones
You've waited long?
I've never heard of anyone named Boney
It's my pseudonym
Let's start the interview, your name?
Stop that
Tess Tickles
Tess, where are you form?
Guangdong... and Portugal
Yeah you look like you have mixed blood
How old are you, Tess?
We'll say 19... everyone says that
18 sounds too young
Vital stats?
36 - 22 - 38?
You think my butt looks big
No...
36 - 22 - 33
OK? OK
Any specialties?
What are you good at?
I'm good at everything
Except massage
What specifically are your specialties then?
I prefer performing them than talking about them
Don't tickle me
You've got to feel it to be able to write it
No need
How did you know that
I like doing it on the floor?
Cold... freezing
Hot! Too hot!
It's cold
Cold... hot
Hot... cold... hot... cold
Hot!
Tess Tickles' trademark fire and ice technique
Boney Jones felt like... Give it to me
shuttling between the equator and north pole
understanding the real pleasure of oral sex
Stop reading it, you fucking shit
This will go to print, everyone will be able to read it
What's the difference if I read it now?
Won't matter once I finish writing it
Sorry
I have more
Do you now?
I have... this!
And this, too
Fire and Ice technique!
Want to try it?
Come on, baby!
The Kenny G of Oral Sex: Tess Tickles
How to perform the Fire and Ice Technique
Number 77, where are you going?
There's a long queue waiting for you
It's like a rock concert, everyone chanting for "77"
Where are you going?
I need to go to the doctors
What for?
The doctor says if I keep on blowing
My jaws will lock permanently like this
I can't do this anymore
Bullshit
This shape is perfect for their sizes
If you don't do it, who will?
Go on...
You're the Kenny G of massage parlors
No one does this like you do
Come on
No, it hurts
Mr. Chan!
Andy and John, thank you for coming tonight
It's going to be a blast, trust me
Just call earlier, I'll reserve the best room for you
We're ok, you don't have to show us around
Stop kidding around John
Why don't I ask Kitty
to take our prettiest girls to have fun with you
We're tired of looking at pretty girls
Get us the ones with special talents
Special talents?
What are you looking at? Scared?
Can you play drinking games?
Drinking games, can you?
I can
You start
Zero! Zero!
She claims to be the master at this game
Start over Sure
I'll go first
OK
5! 10! Drink up!
Again
You're pretty good, why don't we...
go with 6 bottles
Fine, sure
I don't think hospitality is her strong suit
You bet
Come on
You go first
Listen up
5!
15!
10!
Zero!
Finish that up
Thanks
Great
I think he's done
No, I'm not
I don't believe I can't beat you
OK
Let's
Stop playing stupid drinking games, let's...
play strip games
Bluff!
Why not
Off Please
Take it off
No
No? You were pretty confident just now
Off with it
Give me a chance
Chance? Let's go then
How can I leave this way?
Just go
Give me something to wear
Fine, take it off yourself
Now
Stop teasing
Let's go then
What now?
For real?
Take it off
Come on
Too good to be true
Any girl could get on magazine covers these days
Should our Passion try something new?
Let's get some ideas
I have one
We can do current affairs
What?!
You know I'm not good at these
Just trying to think of something
Why don't we sensationalize our cover girls
Just get women from all walks of life
Then think of big stories to package them with
Pretty good
I like this idea
We can maybe get a whore
a hooker
or a masseuse
and make her look like a lady, right?
Baby, I don't understand a word you're saying
You won't have to
So long as the two of us understood
Who should we use for next issue
Who should it be?
Tess Tickles
Whose testicles?
Who's Tess Tickles?
Your Tess Tickles
Your testicles?
What do you mean my Tess Tickles?
Oh no, real estate prices crashing
She licked your testicles
so she's your Tess Tickles
Why did you get your testicles licked?
When did I ever get you to lick my testicles?
You licked his testicles?
I didn't lick his testicles
He had his testicles licked
That's why it's his Tess Tickles
Why did you have your testicles licked?
Yeah
I need to call
Tess Tickles
It's my first time...
First time?
As a cover girl, I mean
I bought some Macau egg tarts
Not sure if it suits your taste
I'm referring to myself
No problem at all
We have a professional photographer
Don't worry, my experience plus this camera
will make you look pretty no matter how ugly you are
Don't worry
He's an idiot, ignore him
John, tell her the theme we're going for
The theme we're going for tonight
is fruits
This banana was made just for you
It was modeled after someone's body part
Seriously, someone's banana is that big
Please take a seat there
Can I take off my clothes now
Sure
I'll assume the position first
OK, ride on the banana
Like riding a pony
Right leg... ride on it
Raise your right leg
Hold on
Higher
Good, hold it right there
open your mouth
look happy
look happy and slide it in your mouth
I bit it off, sorry
Yours did not come off, we're fine
Keep it up
Try leaning your head this way
Better
OK, that's enough
OK, stop
Let's try using a finger
Put a finger into your mouth
Like this?
I guess so
That's good
Cover Girl Tess Tickles on 10 Best Ways to lick them
I'm so happy today
to be the special guest in Passion Magazine's 100th issue
I've grown up with Passion Magazine
From the very first issue they published
I will give my best to everyone
You look like you've never disrobed in your life
Wait!
Do it when we're on the bus, not here
I love Hong Kong!
I love you
Distinguished guests, readers of Passion
We're going to begin
Before we start tonight's program
We have a flag
to present to publisher Andy
And deputy publisher John
Ladies and gentlemen, our chairman
Mr. Kan
OK, now our let's welcome our leading men
Andy and John
OK, now let's have Mr. Kan present
Words of thanks from the sex industry
Thank you
Thank you!
It should be us thanking you really
Photo's please
OK
Thank you, Mr. Kan
thank you very much
OK, now we hand it over to our VIP's!
Tingting is full of surprises
Her pubic hair long enough to reach the ground
When she lies down
her pubic hair escapes her underwears
you can use hair gel to control them
Tingting, has a pair of pink nipples
you can squeeze it all you want
She lives on #59 Tsuen Wan Avenue
Waiting for you to contribute your sperm
Hold each other tight
Let her suck on your dick
Swallow it whole, Come in her mouth
Tingting has no fear
Tingting offers 3-course set
Waiting for you in her apartment
She lives in #59 Tsuen Wan Avenue
Do what you want to do with her
Hello everyone
I am your host Kiki
From this issue on
Passion Magazine will have an on pack VCD
Cut!
Andy, I'll leave now if everything's ok
Bye
Bye Bye
Can we leave now?
Give me another 10 minutes
It feels so good
Give me the VCD
Can't take it anymore
I killed her?
How is it Doctor?
Nothing serious for now
She has low blood pressure
Get her for a full physical exam tomorrow
I'll write you a reference letter
Sorry, doctor
Are you really a doctor?
You've never met a pretty doctor before?
You ok?
Of course I'm not
You're not?
What's wrong?
Terminal illness
Doc...
Forget about it, I know what's wrong
The doctor said I'm in terminal stage
I could die anytime
You're kidding I mean it
Did you get a close inspection?
What did the doctor say a while ago?
It was very clear
Why would I faint if everything was ok?
But the doctor said it was nothing serious
What's your illness called?
It's called... terminal illness
Will you treat me better
right before I die?
Will you?
Why?
I missed you so much
Tess Tickles, Lewd Lily
Tess Tickles, Titty Bird
Tess Tickles
Your Tess Tickles wins by a huge margin
Quit mentioning it in front of Fanny
If you do that again, I'm going to hit you
I don't know, you pick the lucky winner
Isn't it a bit dangerous
what if we picked an SM freak?
Well, doesn't she face that danger everyday in her work?
But the one night stand with the cover girl was our idea
We're responsible for anything that might go wrong
Let's fake this, why don't you go?
Fanny's going to see me
Fine, let her run the risk of meeting an SM freak
Or just get disembodied at some point
You think if we pixelize my face
Will Fanny still recognize me?
Why don't you get an instant photo
Then pixelize your look
Then ask Fanny if she knew
who it was
Right!
Thanks
I don't think she'll recognize my face with pixels
Maybe Calvin should do it, he doesn't have a girlfriend
Sorry, was I late for long?
You getting married?
Your eyes ok?
Nothing, the sunlight was just too bright
You spent much time arranging this look?
I did... is it ok?
It looks good, definitely
OK, let's do it
OK
You two stand apart
OK, back up a little
You're too stiff
Relax a little
What the hell, you have a boner?
You've never seen a woman before?
Right...
You look too tight, lady
I mean your face, not your lower body
Relax, that's right
When I say 'Action' just run towards each other
OK?
Let's go
Action!
Does that work?
What are you doing?
This sucks
Just like that
Hold her and spin
Don't stop till I say so
So happy... so wonderful
Chupa chups?
Calvin! What did you buy?
I said to buy flowers
You said to get corny stuff
You look corny enough
Whatever, take this thing here
And kneel on the ground before you give it to her
Just look really stupid, ok?
Remember to shoot the background
The uglier the better
As kitsch as possible
Ready, start when I say 'Action'
Ready, get set...
Wait
Ms Tess Yeah?
You're a working girl, show some poise
Sorry
There you go, thanks
Ready...
Action!
Look happy, yes, relax
Perfect
She looks happier than you do
You looked like you just ate shit
I've never had a man walk on the beach with me before
I'm actually quite old fashioned
I like having a man walk on the beach with me
Where do you go when you dated your ex?
Nowhere, just somewhere dark to have sex
Lots of groping and humping
And then, Tess discovered
the hidden champagne bottle from her fan
Ouch! What the fuck?
Tess is so moved
What is it? And they kiss
It's a bottle of champagne
Kiss!
Kiss now
OK
Right
Romantically look at each other while you toast
Fine
OK, don't drink too much
Put it down, pick up a strawberry
Correct...
Then suck on it
Don't look at me, look at her
Suck the fruit, suck it
Enjoy it like you're sucking her...
Then feed her
Enough, feed her now
Exactly
Look entranced
Don't open your mouth too wide
Don't think it's your regular...
there you go... right...
OK, leave them, shoot me instead
OK, after they enjoyed their bottle of champagne
Keep moving, don't still
OK, after they enjoyed the champagne
The lucky reader finally gets to enter the room
we prepared for him and Tess Tickles
We hid over a hundred condoms near the bed
Our guessing game for this issue is
How many condoms will our lucky reader use up?
The answer will be revealed on the next issue
Wanna play paper, rock, scissors?
Get in there!
OK, as to what happens after they entered the room
Only heaven knows
Remember to write back and guess how many rounds they got to
Done
Was that ok?
I'm fine with it
Remember, you are the lucky reader tonight
Everything in that room is yours
Have fun
I thought it was all an act?
If you want to leave now
You can go
If you want me to stop, just say so
Lower... lower
No...
Lower... no
in the middle
Perfect
Middle, perfect
I did not know that my entire body
could turn into a sex organ
What?
I think I've gone mad
I'm tired, can you hold me while I sleep?
Aren't you tired watching these discs
Wait...
Why is that guy's face pixelized?
We have to protect readers' identities
Then again
He looks like you
Like me? No way, I've seen him
Seriously, his body size
is the same as yours
Look at that nose
It's the same
You can see that through the pixels?
Yes, just do it like this
Squint like that and you'll see it
Yeah? Isn't it?
I'm suddenly feeling something... What?
I have an urge
Tell me, doesn't he look like you?
Hello
I'm Fanny, you asleep?
Barely
Sorry
I have something to tell you
Wait
What is it?
Nothing really
I'm not sure if I'm a little paranoid
I felt like since John started the magazine
He's been very different
Different like how?
Well, it's like this...
I can't stand it...
Where did you learn what you just did?
I... just experimented on the stuff I write about
Experimenting? Felt more like you've practiced
Really?
Well, let's try that one more time
He insists that he's never tried it with others
How am I supposed to believe that
You're being paranoid, doesn't do any good to anyone
I know, but I can't help it
Now every time we do it
I just can't get myself into the mood
Paying too much attention on his "moves"
See how different it is with before
I'm going crazy
Well, how about you and Andy?
Aren't you worried?
If there is anything fishy, no use worrying over it
Mind telling us if you've ever crossed the line?
You mean to indulge in that lifestyle?
Off the record, I won't write about it
Just purely out of interest
I'd be lying if I said we never did
I'm not a saint, can't fight temptation
Besides saints don't publish porn magazines
They write bibles and holy books
I'd like to use your toilet for a second
I'm bursting
Who are you?
I'll tell you in a bit, thanks
Here's your money back, also I'd like to buy your flat
It's ours, you shouldn't have to do this
I just want to prove that I can take care of you
I bought your favorite dish home for dinner
Who screwed up this contract?
Even has drawings
Where's John?
I've told you maybe a billion times before
Don't use this color for the cover
Are you deaf?
Told you not to write about Fantasy of The Spooky Kind
We're a porn publication
We're not X-files
Stop fooling around
It has nothing to do with our magazine
I know Pam left you
What did you say about Pam?
Stop right there
Fuck you!
Stop!
You said something about Pamela, right?
You've turned your girlfriend into a paranoid
Why did you have to bring me down?
Now my girlfriend's gone
You're blaming me?
Tell me...
What now?
Why are you being quiet?
Fine
Say it, come on
Stay out of this
Say it
You really want to hear?
Why am I always playing second fiddle to you?
Who started you on Fat Dragon & Boney Jones
Your deputy
We started Passion Magazine as partners
You're the publisher and I'm the deputy
Up yours, your deputy?
You've never said you wanted to be the publisher
I'm too nice and educated for that
Oh really, since you're too nice and educated
then quit writing about pornography
Why care about becoming a publisher?
You're too nice to be even the deputy
Since you're that educated
Why do you fool around with a masseuse
What did you say?
I quit, you do this on your own
Honestly speaking, I've always liked you
You may not know this
Andy's all talk
He's noting without you supporting him
Passion Magazine was your idea, I knew that
He can say whatever he wants outside
You don't have to care about that
I feel so bad for you
Sorry for being very frank
I've predicted you two to go separate ways early on
I've published fortune telling books
You asked to meet me to bash my ex partner
Not really, I don't have that much free time
John, you're a smart kid
You should know I want to be in business with you again
You should have no doubt about my passion for publishing
I'm sure if you start your own porn magazine
You can beat Passion Magazine easily
There's an old Chinese Saying
Friendships thrive on hard times, not in good times
Do you agree with that?
Ever regretted starting a porn magazine?
From the moment we set out to do this
I've never regretted it
How much have you lost since you started this?
Never counted my losses, and not starting now either
But let me tell you
You must have a bottom line in everything you do
Bottom Line?
You have bottom line in porn publications as well?
Let me tell you, anything you do
you have to set a bottom line for yourself
Sometimes the only thing that can save your ass...
...is this bottom line
Boss, is that a new magazine?
Yup, just arrived
I'll buy this one thanks
The rivals meet!
Do we still want to bathe then?
Certainly? Why the hell not?
You guys haven't spoken in a while, go ahead
Come over here
You two have a thing against each other
Why don't you fight over it?
Fight over it
What the fuck do you want?
Punch him
Looks like we have a winner
That fast? Hard to believe?
Didn't think you'd fight this well
When you have the time, try it on me
Has he thrown a temper tantrum yet today?
Andy, I've quit my day job as a TV reporter
I've decided to go to the US to study Theology
We formed this partnership
not only to make money
But also to have fun
I feel this magazine is a runaway train
We've had fun working with each other
Utterly immoral
Do you believe in karma?
Do you understand?
I'm leaving
Mike...
Why are you still here?
Cindy, can you place an order
for a Pizza for just you and me
He's leaving soon
Leave
Just go
Get out of here
What do you want?
I said to order a pizza, don't you want to eat?
If you don't, I do
The ones I need are gone, only the useless stayed
What do you want?
I'll give you back your share
Don't go Idiot
Don't leave... I don't have any friends anymore
Please don't go
I'm begging you
You two were the best of friends
He should know you didn't mean to punch him
I didn't think it would come to this
Just tell him that you're sorry
This time it's all over
At least it was good coming to see you
I know why men look for hookers
There are certain thing...
that men can't resolve with their own women
Thanks
I just upped my price again
How much?
We're friends, forget about these
I charge you the old price
Keep it
Why did you have to jazz up this place like this?
You're just a solo hooker
I did
spend over a million bucks refurbishing
You told me to work hard, remember?
You know, I really am
Hong Kong's most popular solo hooker now
I'm doing very well
Just the other day, 2 tv station interviewed me even
I have something for you, hang on
I bought this from an old guy
for HK$ 3,000
Thanks
We're friends, remember?
Have you seen my telephone bill?
What?
Phone bill
Never saw it, look for it yourself
Is it beside the computer?
Found it yet?
Why did you stick with Kiki?
Your girlfriend Pamela was really good
Why didn't you attempt to win her back?
I'm not sure I know why
Maybe...
She was just too good for me
I don't understand, can you elaborate?
She was too good for me, I'm a man
When I'm with her
I feel...
I mean, I'd really want...
to have a woman I can rescue
Or maybe...
a not so normal woman
Frankly speaking, I didn't understand that
But I'll write it down
Sometimes it's really strange
You know quite well who you love
But you choose to let her go against your wishes
I'm not sure I know how to say it
The police started what they called
Operation: Fire Lily
Sweeping through over a hundred prostitution dens
Forcibly closing down several porn magazines
And arresting several publishers and editors-in-chief
The officer in charge is SP Cheung
He claims this operation will be stepped up
John just got arrested
Where are you going?
Back to the office
For what?
So they can come arrest me?
The police have combed through
Night clubs, motels and massage parlors
Among the arrested are illegal immigrants
and to date more
than 120 individuals have been brought in for investigation
Everyone leave, the cops will be here any minute
I'm not joking
Just go now
How can I leave you like this?
We're partners
If I get arrested, I'll need you to post bail for me
Thanks
Who's in charge here?
I am
I have collected twenty stamps, can I exchange for the gift?
Wait there
Here's an electric dildo
I just pulled it out from my ass
It's yours if you want it
There are tons of magazines here, you can take them too
This entire office is yours if you want it
20 stamps!
SP Cheung, I'm Andy
If you want to arrest me, get it over with
Who said anything about arresting you?
You closed down every other magazine, why not mine?
Because you have a higher bottom line, kid
You never took bribes
If you did, the accounting books from the night spots will show
In other words, under the table transactions
John never takes these kinds of payments
Not sure if he ever did
But his name was in the books
Maybe someone took it for him
He's the magazine's publisher
editor-in-chief and chief writer
Of course they arrested him and not me
Those weren't bribes, they were advertising fees
Nothing is free in this world
Doesn't mean you've got high moral standards if you don't take
Just means you're stupid
What?
What proof have you got that I took the money?
The money was deposited under the Lust Magazine account
John's got no choice but to take this hit
Tell him to wise up in his next life!
Andy, you're a much smarter person
I actually like you better
I have a new idea for us to work together
It's a brand new idea, for real!
Let's work together
What? Think I'm scared of you?
Mano o mano!
Thank you, Attorney Ho
We're ok for now
Call me if you need me
I'm leaving for now, bye
Bye
I told Fanny not to come
Isn't it the day that Passion comes out?
Remember what we did on the eve of the first issue?
Do you remember? I do
After you left
Sales for Passion really wasn't as good as before
Sir, we're closing for the day
My treat
No, make it my treat
I'm leaving the porn business
Got an offer from Taiwan to do a Film Magazine
Long time, no see
Yes
I didn't want to tell you...
that I'm not going to do porn magazines anymore
I'm going to Taiwan to start a film magazine there
When do you leave?
Tomorrow
That fast?
I thought about it for a while
Good
What's good?
Good for you
Tell me your real name, please?
Tess Chow
Not Guangdon mixed with Portugese blood
More like Guangxi mixed with Portugese
I'm 28 years old
Vital stats are 35, 23.5, 34
I have a daughter
Her father's my ex boyfriend
She just turned 6
What else do you want to know?
Nothing else
Anything you want to know about me?
Apart from blow, lick, swallow and spit
Nothing else I want to know in here
In order for you to blow well
Did you have to use real feeling?
Well, feel it and you'll know
Take only what is necessary, I'll be back end of the month
Why do you keep this issue?
What?
I don't know
Why?
I'm asking you
Tell me truthfully
Ever since you started that magazine, ever cheated on me?
Never
Swear?
Swear
You never changed in all these years?
Not really, if any at all it's just little things
Like?
I don't have sex with hookers before, now I do
I've become friends with triad members, changed girlfriends
And friends?
Have you seen John since you parted ways that morning?
No
Even no contact with him at all?
Not at all
If you see him again
What would be the first thing you say to him?
Sorry
Because he is the...
the best friend I have ever known
I have a secret to reveal
Your best friend is here today
I have one thing to say
I owe you this
Sorry
Sorry...
Ready, Three, two, one
THE END Subtitles by: Reklame